Thursday, 26 January 2012
Friday, 20 January 2012
Even my daughter is better than you
Being the bad ass that I am, I have always had an affinity with nudity. During my school years, it was almost a tradition for at least one year thirteen student (the final year of high school) to run naked through the school on the last day. Sure, it was attention seeking behaviour, but it was moderately harmless, added another name to the records kept in the year thirteen common room and if you streaked it was a good way to remember your last day of high school.
My affinity with nudity put me in a dangerous position though. At the end of year twelve, I had successfully streaked through the main street of my town, two high profile rugby matches and uncounted parties, so the idea of having to wait another year to streak my school wasn't very appealing. Being young and impressionable, I disregarded the consequences and decided to streak with a couple friends who were a year older than I was and were leaving the school, and my friend from my year who I mentioned in this post. Needless to say, we were the first year twelves to ever streak the school and obviously the only students to streak the school and then return to it the year after. This all pales in comparison to my daughter though.
My daughter is better than you, and has even bested her father, by getting a picture of her bare ass printed on the second page of the local newspaper. Her standing naked, facing away from the camera, next to the pool was chosen as the image used for that weeks swim safety awareness article. Admittedly, she is two years old and can get away with it, but following in her example, I might begin submitting my own tactfully nude photographs in the hopes of at least matching her and getting my ass printed for the entire region to see.
Your hero
Clarke Kent
My affinity with nudity put me in a dangerous position though. At the end of year twelve, I had successfully streaked through the main street of my town, two high profile rugby matches and uncounted parties, so the idea of having to wait another year to streak my school wasn't very appealing. Being young and impressionable, I disregarded the consequences and decided to streak with a couple friends who were a year older than I was and were leaving the school, and my friend from my year who I mentioned in this post. Needless to say, we were the first year twelves to ever streak the school and obviously the only students to streak the school and then return to it the year after. This all pales in comparison to my daughter though.
My daughter is better than you, and has even bested her father, by getting a picture of her bare ass printed on the second page of the local newspaper. Her standing naked, facing away from the camera, next to the pool was chosen as the image used for that weeks swim safety awareness article. Admittedly, she is two years old and can get away with it, but following in her example, I might begin submitting my own tactfully nude photographs in the hopes of at least matching her and getting my ass printed for the entire region to see.
Your hero
Clarke Kent
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
The uninformed and my hypocracy
After reading "Pale Blue Dot" by Carl Sagan, I was astounded by how much sense his ideas made and began sharing some of his ideas with some friends. I was blatantly stealing his ideas, but at least attempting to add my own thoughts to it before calling them my own, so all of the people I told thought I was some sort of genius. (Prepare for a Carl Sagan post in the future; I yearn for more gratification) I think this is fine.
What I can not stand are the multitudes of people who find out something that seems important, but rather than forming an opinion on it, will just copy and paste another persons statements and opinions. The recent SOPA protests and blackout of Wikipedia is the latest example. Being from New Zealand, not many people are aware of SOPA. When the black out first hit, I made a comment about it regarding my hopes that porn sites wouldn't jump on board and black out for a day, because I wouldn't be able to survive. Within an hour though, three more friends had copy/paste the same SOPA article, with no input from themselves, purely in the hopes of receiving some praise and attention for being so up to date with current, worldwide events.
I will tell you now, there is no correlation between your ability to copy/paste and how intelligent you are. Heed my advice. Stop doing it. Quit looking like a douche bag. Actually, a douche bag has a useful function. You need to quit looking like a broken down car, in the front of a poor persons house.
Your hero
Clarke Kent
What I can not stand are the multitudes of people who find out something that seems important, but rather than forming an opinion on it, will just copy and paste another persons statements and opinions. The recent SOPA protests and blackout of Wikipedia is the latest example. Being from New Zealand, not many people are aware of SOPA. When the black out first hit, I made a comment about it regarding my hopes that porn sites wouldn't jump on board and black out for a day, because I wouldn't be able to survive. Within an hour though, three more friends had copy/paste the same SOPA article, with no input from themselves, purely in the hopes of receiving some praise and attention for being so up to date with current, worldwide events.
I will tell you now, there is no correlation between your ability to copy/paste and how intelligent you are. Heed my advice. Stop doing it. Quit looking like a douche bag. Actually, a douche bag has a useful function. You need to quit looking like a broken down car, in the front of a poor persons house.
Your hero
Clarke Kent
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Fun times with misogyny.
In high school, I was accused of being a misogynist. I was taken aback, not only because was it a 4 syllable word which I was shocked somebody else already understood, but because I was accused of it by a teacher. It ate at me. I was thinking about it constantly, and trying to work out if it was true.
I finally came to the conclusion that it must be, and I didn't want to change at all.
Recently I attended a friends wedding. All was going well, a magnificent ceremony, delicious food, and a lot of catching up between old friends. Things took a turn for the worst when the best man made the egregious mistake of opening the floor up to anyone to say a speech. Without a second thought, a girl who barely knew the groom got up, drunk out of her mind and began to tell an absolutely awful story that was entirely about herself. She mustn't have been hugged as a child, because throughout all of the time that I have known her she has always been desperate for attention. This girl, who is old enough to be a woman but her lack of maturity demands her still be called a girl, marred an otherwise perfect reception and has reminded me why I hate women.
Your hero
Clarke Kent
I finally came to the conclusion that it must be, and I didn't want to change at all.
Recently I attended a friends wedding. All was going well, a magnificent ceremony, delicious food, and a lot of catching up between old friends. Things took a turn for the worst when the best man made the egregious mistake of opening the floor up to anyone to say a speech. Without a second thought, a girl who barely knew the groom got up, drunk out of her mind and began to tell an absolutely awful story that was entirely about herself. She mustn't have been hugged as a child, because throughout all of the time that I have known her she has always been desperate for attention. This girl, who is old enough to be a woman but her lack of maturity demands her still be called a girl, marred an otherwise perfect reception and has reminded me why I hate women.
Your hero
Clarke Kent
I truly am better than you - The introduction
I have very few friends.
Not the most endearing way to begin a first post, in my first blog, but it is the best way to introduce myself. I have very few friends, and it is completely by choice.
Years ago, during my high school days, I was the popular crowd. Back then, everyone loved me. When people think back on our year level, they only remember themselves, myself and one other friend of mine. My friend and I grew up faster than the rest of our year and were typical popular kids. We thought of ourselves as better, simply because we were the most popular; we partied, had sex, excelled at sports and the curriculum, lead the school and were always incredibly attractive.
Years later, my friend and I have lost most of the friends we once had, and we couldn't be happier. The previous ideas that we were better than every one else have developed into the deep ingrained knowledge of our superiority. Where once we focused on trivialities and adolescent whims, now we focus on maintaining our superiority.
With this blog, I intend on sharing some of the ideas that begin to define why I am better than you, continuing with the tale of my past and how it made me better than you and even a few theories that I piece together for my own superior amusement.
Your hero
Clarke Kent
Not the most endearing way to begin a first post, in my first blog, but it is the best way to introduce myself. I have very few friends, and it is completely by choice.
Years ago, during my high school days, I was the popular crowd. Back then, everyone loved me. When people think back on our year level, they only remember themselves, myself and one other friend of mine. My friend and I grew up faster than the rest of our year and were typical popular kids. We thought of ourselves as better, simply because we were the most popular; we partied, had sex, excelled at sports and the curriculum, lead the school and were always incredibly attractive.
Years later, my friend and I have lost most of the friends we once had, and we couldn't be happier. The previous ideas that we were better than every one else have developed into the deep ingrained knowledge of our superiority. Where once we focused on trivialities and adolescent whims, now we focus on maintaining our superiority.
With this blog, I intend on sharing some of the ideas that begin to define why I am better than you, continuing with the tale of my past and how it made me better than you and even a few theories that I piece together for my own superior amusement.
Your hero
Clarke Kent
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